I had a dream yesterday. I was talking to my friend and I dozed off in the middle leaving lights on and I, sleeping diagonally on my bed. However, after days of a hectic schedule, I am unable to take a sound sleep and is being semi- sominac for a while now. However, yesterday was also one such night but it turned out to be a wonderful one because of a dream. ONE SINGLE DREAM. A dream which I longed to happen for so long.
We all were gathered in a beautiful place with water on one side and beautiful view on the other side. It was dinner time and everybody was busy taking plating for themselves. I guess it was some sort of party or a family function. I; along with others entered the line and start moving forward. Just when I finished plating putting on some of my favorites amongst various delicacies present there and was about to take the first bite, I saw you. I couldn’t believe my eyes at first. But then you know, I can never make a mistake in recognizing you; no matter after how many years/ages we meet. I threw the plate and came running towards you. With tears rolling down I hugged you tightly. Tightly than ever I did since you left.
While I was running towards you, I remember that everybody around me saw this weird step of mine. Everybody was shouting at me that where am I going. However, I paid no attention to anybody and continued running towards you.
“Where were you for so long? Do you have any idea how much the life has changed since the day you left? And how I managed to survive this long without you? I yelled while crying hard and continued hugging. More than a hug it was my force that I tried to impose on you so that you could not leave again.
“You embraced me in your arms, gave me your signature style smile, fingers flowing through my hairs, you wiped my tears, caressed my cheeks and said, “I was busy somewhere. I just came to see you”.
Without caring about anything I start to shout on top of my voice.
“See, HE IS BACK”. I made sure that the pitch of my voice was high enough to catch everybody’s attention there to let them know that HE is back now. My life is back now.
I was amazed to see you. After so many years also you look the same. Six feet tall, brown eyes filled with innocence and love, larger upper lip and smaller lower lip just like mine. (Afterall I inherited it from you ), broad shoulders bent forward a little bit, that same white shirt and the same way of standing. You looked the same. How can you manage that calmness on your face? That same voice, same way of talking, same way of holding me in your arms. Every damn thing I noticed about you was same. I suddenly felt like home. I wanted that moment to last forever. That moment I felt as if I have found myself and I need nothing else now. For I have You back. I will no more be overthinking and drowning myself in anxiety. Afterall, You was all I need. And here You are standing in front of me holding me in your arms.
I literally drag you to the corner and bombard you with myriad questions getting angry as usual I used to get in old times.
Where were you for so long?
Why didn’t you called me even once?
Didn’t you miss me?
Don’t you love me?
Do you have any idea how much SHE missed you? How your absence is affecting HER health? and many more. I ended up ordering him that “you are not going anywhere now. I need you. You have come back after so long and no matter what kind of work it is, no matter how important it is, you are not going anywhere. I am important amongst all”.
And You standing still, caressing my head, kissing my cheeks and smiling replied, “I am out for some important work baby. We will meet soon”.
And just after You said your last words, You was gone. Gone again. and I as usual started looking for you amidst crowds asking about you from everybody available there. I panicked. I cried. I shouted. And that was the moment I woke up.
It took me five to ten minutes to regain my consciousness and to realize that I was sleeping and it was a dream. I met You in my dream.
There is again a lump in my throat and tears roll down my cheeks.
However, I smile a bit as no matter whether it was a dream but what matters more is that I met you, I felt you like our good old days. I felt complete.
As I write about this beautiful dream, I get shivers for this evening marks the number seven. The memories of this evening are still afresh. I still remember you lying down with eyes closed and still without motion. That wasn’t You. That was a lifeless body lying down waiting to be burned.
Life has been unfair. How can you leave so early leaving behind a kid facing the harsh realities of life all alone?
Seven years has been a long and tiring journey.
Hoping to meet soon for each passing year makes it difficult for me to live without you.
Yet I will make sure that before we meet, I will make you proud.
Lots of Love,
Your grown up kiddo.