2015 has been ear-splitting for me. I faced many ups and downs and at the end of the year, life showed me the darkest of its colours. Yes, the darkest.
I lost my mom.
Losing a parent is the hardest of all.It’s not that easy. It ruptures the kid completely.
Losing my mother brought the biggest change in my life. After all, she was the only form of my survival after dad passed away.
Sometimes, it breaks me down. However, I do not cry because I have accepted the harsh truth of life that we all have to die one day. some will leave early and some late.
My parents haven’t raised a girl, instead they have raised a tigress who is self sufficient to face all odds. And you know what, there are a lot of memories that are stored in my heart that gives me strength to keep moving forward. My mom and me have made myriad memories that are enough for me to live this life.
Memories…..Lets drive into past for one such memory. This is holi time. Although I do not play holi but still I like Holi very much. Reason– Holi is the day of my mother’s birthday.
I remember last year how I celebrated my mom’s birthday. Since she was not with me, I travelled all the way from my city to my Nani’s place to give my mom a surprise. Not only I travelled, I bought 49 gifts (because she was going to be 49 years old last year) including each and every small thing .
Trust me, she was surprised. Her happiness knew no boundaries. More than the gifts, she was happy seeing me there as she never thought that I could go there just to see her. Moreover, i didnt told her anything aboput my plan. Although she doubted. Afterall, we are soulmates. She got those vibes. 🙂 🙂
This is the bonding that we both shared. This year she is not with me physically, but still I am going to celebrate her birthday in my own way. And I am sure that she will be happy. Moreover, this year it is a double happiness. After dad left, it’s been five years and now this is the time when they both will be celebrating her birthday together in heaven. 🙂 🙂
” Happy Birthday Mom.” Enjoy life with Dad. And yes, bless your tigress each and every moment. 🙂 🙂
And yes, don’t worry about me. I am absolutely fine here. Trying to achieve my goals. and working hard to make you proud. 🙂 🙂 🙂
I am still holding on to your promise, Maa. I do not cry. But you know, sometimes, I miss you a lot and want you back. but then I realise that I cannot separate you from your love, i.e. Dad.
We have made myriad memories that are going to live with me forever till my last breadth. and those happy memories are my strength.
Lastly , despite of knowing everything, I want to quote few lines of Lena Elamin.
I wish i can feel you again,
I wish i can feel your essence and be wrapped and cradeled in your loving arms.
I wish i can feel your warmth and hear your comforting voice.
I wish i can sit next to you and feel like everything’s gonna be okay.
I want God to give me You one more time, maybe that way, I’ll see you again.
See my message here-