Arriving home after office, lighting up my favorite set of scented candles, light music, tea on my table and cell phone in one hand as I snuggle into my bed followed by some reading and writing. This is how my evening routine looks like. It might sound creepy to a lot of people but, however, it is something that I am addicted to and never want to change. The amalgamation of my favorite music with a dim yet intriguing fragrance that fills the complete home with freshness helps in relieving stress and provides calmness to my mind and soul. However, today was something different. While sipping tea from one hand and phone in other, a notification popped up. It was from my rive. They automatically selected some of my pictures, created a video out of them and invited me to have a look. However, I do not open such notifications but that picture appealed me to have a look at it. As I played the video, I saw a slideshow of pictures with certain music in the background. As I was about to finish watching, my eyes stumbled upon a picture. Staring that picture gave me goosebumps and also by heart ached a bit. It felt like I have sat in a time machine and is driving towards my past revisiting every house that came in between. Myriad memories came running down to me like a cyclone and I lost myself in that.
Sometimes, I wonder that how I those long talks between us which made others jealous, life lessons taught for every situation just like mathematics formulas that need to be used for specific problems, those long long fights followed by the persuasion that ended up delivering a peck on each other’s cheeks; felt so afresh as if it all happened just a few minutes ago.
As I relive those moments I feel her, I feel her love. Most importantly, I feel myself. Because how can I not feel complete with my soul. After all, she is what all I need to feel alive. After all, how can someone be alive without her soul?
However, the day she left was the most heart-wrenching moment. For the moment she left wasn’t the moment she was gone but was also the moment she took a part of me with her forever leaving creating a void for a lifetime. And I like a small kid who gets lost in a Mela because of her hand slips from her mother’s hand, cries her heart out and roams around looking for her mother also wanders around looking for the lost piece of my soul in which I have failed deliberately.
As I look back and recount a thousand reasons or not being happy, yet one reason overpowers all others and I call myself lucky to have found someone who means the whole world to me. And she says, “You are special. You are strong. You are not like other girls. Someday you will shine and you will get what you deserve and that will be the day you will get your lost part“.
And I like a hopeful kid who does her homework just because her mother promises to give her a chocolate once the work is done; is hopeful that someday her words will come true and I will find my lost part.
And just when I was about to close the video, my eyes get filled with tears but fail to fall. And I clear my eyes, gulp down those teardrops with a sip of lukewarm water, finish my tea and leave for my evening walk with my favorite person as he makes me hopeful, makes me believe in my dreams and also helps me to explore the unexplored part of my own self.
Life is so unusual. It takes away from people whom we need most yet it gives us someone who fills the void created by the lost and makes you feel free and yourself.
Do you recount any such incident?